March 31

Whenever the calendar flips over March 31, I stop to celebrate a second chance at life. Six years ago, I didn't think it would be possible to finish my PhD program or ever walk on my own again. A neurologist prognosticated my neuromuscular demise in February 2003, but it wasn't until March 31 that I really knew what it felt like to be disabled, after an ordinary trip to the library ended with right leg paralysis (no wonder I hate books!). But after a life-saving diagnosis six months later, I started drug treatment for a fatty acid oxidation disorder and am still alive and kicking today, even walking without my cane. This year I get to hold my baby daughter in my arms, a dream I thought would never come true. So cheers to beating the odds, coming back from the brink, and a river of thanksgiving for the people that have helped me survive the journey.

Kinder birthday party

On Saturday Gianna was invited to the neighbor girl's first birthday party. We dressed her up in some new spring threads and topped the outfit off with dragonfly barrettes that only stayed in her hair for half the party. There were about a dozen kids from age 6 weeks to 4 years in attendance, playing, eating, and actually behaving very well. Many if not all of the parents were expats in similar situations to our own, moved to Frankfurt by a company for a few years. The food was an excellent selection of French pastries from a bakery down on Oeder Weg, chocolate croissants, raspberry cake, and mixed berry ice cream cones to name a few of the favorites. The birthday cake was cupcakes made with Betty Crocker cake mix and icing brought over from the US by some one's thoughtful relatives.

Today begins German daylight savings time, which caught me off guard. The computer clock was running one hour ahead this morning, for some strange reason, until I realized that we sprung ahead an hour last night. So east coast, we're back to 6 hours ahead of you guys.

Funny Friday

Been a long week? 

We went to the bakery for a Friday morning treat and G Mai got a little sweaty climbing up the stairs while wearing her fleece hat. Voilà! Instant comical hair 'do. She was rather miffed that I was taking her picture when all she wanted to do was tear into this oversized chocolate croissant. As she was eating, I heard our American neighbor hollering to her toddler "come on, I'll take you to the bakery for a treat!" Must be the Friday thing to do. They are having a birthday party tomorrow for their 1 year old daughter and Gianna is invited. The weather is supposed to be crappy...again...so I'm glad they live in the building right behind us. That way I can dress Gianna in one of her new spring outfits and not worry about her getting cold along the way.

This week I've been working on two job offers. One is solid with offer letter in hand, the other is still in the works as the hiring manager is out this week. Both are part-time teaching gigs. I have a residency permit, but I still have to get a working permit to work in Germany. Working permits do not come cheap, so I'd like to have two part-time jobs lined up to assure that the cost of the working permit will be less than the money I make working! Part of me doesn't want to bother with getting a job; maybe I am enjoying the lazy life too much. Since we will be back in the US in a little over a year, I'd almost rather focus my efforts on raising Gianna and finding a "real" job when we get back. But in this economy, I should be happy to find any job at all and earn a little extra euro for the family. And with part-time work, I'll still have a lot of free time to be with Gianna.

Racism: alive, well

"Two happy parents and their sleeping daughter"

or

"Two happy white parents and their adopted Asian daughter"

Racism is definitely alive and well in Germany. Germans...racist? Don't be shocked! You see on the news that Obama has so much support overseas, but we often hear "how could the US elect a black man?" from people on the street. I was in tears the other night and uttered words I never thought I would hear myself say "I miss New Jersey". It's not the strip malls, the shore, good bagels and pizza that leave me longing for the Garden State, it's our ability to blend in with other multicultural families without being subject to stares and inappropriate questions when we go out in public. I've stopped taking Gianna to the playground because of bullies small and large. The pasty white German kids won't let Gianna play on the equipment with them and the pasty white German mothers keep asking me if I'm the nanny. When I explain that I am Gianna's mother, they insist that's impossible unless I have a Vietnamese husband at home, which would still be wrong in their book because I'm white. I can't imagine how it makes Gianna feel when she hears me defend our mother-daughter relationship to German busy-bodies at the playground, on the street, in the train station, at the grocery store, you get the picture. And lately Gianna's been getting picked on by some German girls at school, in the hallway and in the bathroom. I can't say for sure that it's racially motivated, but Gianna is Asian, small for her age, and shy, three reasons to pick on a kid. Now she is afraid to go to the bathroom if other kids are around; she grips onto my legs and hides. Just want to give those little German brats a good ol' fashioned American Arschtritt. I need to have a good plan in mind for the next time I see it happen.

Being a multicultural family and living in another country are awesome experiences that teach you a lot about life. Gianna still speaks plenty of Vietnamese, but we are hearing more and more English every day. Sometimes she will repeat German words, but is not consistently speaking any German. Today we were looking at her Vietnamese "My First Animal Book" các loài vật. She kept saying the word "gián", paging through the book, and stopping on the insect page. Turns out, gián means cockroach. Now how does she know that word so well? I can just imagine the orphanage workers chasing away the gián, "gián không! gián không!" Another mystery I have solved with my Vietnamese lessons is Gianna's Curly (as in Three Stooges) impression. She often says "nuk! nuk! nuk!" and I thought she was mispronouncing milk. Turns out, the Vietnamese word for water, nước, sounds just like nuk. In the future, I will be more sensitive to her request for water :-) And I am also going to speak to the school director about the bully situation.

Coming to America

But first, another fine flour and sugar creation to share with my hungry readers at home. The Germans love poppy seed desserts and so do I. While I typically go for the poppy seed pinwheel, today I tried something new, mohnkuchen, or poppy cake. The poppy filling had a vanilla pudding flavor, which was totally unexpected. Hats off to the German bakers once again. And one more food find, maybe you have this in the US too, but I've never come across kiwi jam before. It actually had chunks of real kiwi and tasted pretty zingy on a slice of Toskana Weißbrot.


So yes, we are making an unexpected trip to the US the end of April. It will just be me and Gianna, for 10 days. We need to take care of some medical appointments that can't wait until the summer (my original plan). So we will be bip-bopping around PA, NJ, and MD, seeing doctors, pregnant sister-in-laws, our NJ house, and various other friends and relatives including Gianna's big brother and sister from Hanoi, Ryan and Jada. Can't wait!

Frankfurt Stock Exchange and My Zeil

Here are some pics of the Frankfurt Stock exchange and the bronze bull and bear statues that sit in it's shadow. Ironic that there is a Starbucks in the background of the bear photo. Makes me think about how this economic crisis originated in the US, then it makes me worry about the situation with selling our Jersey house. Yeesh!

I also stopped at My Zeil, a huge new mega mall that just opened. On the outside, there is a tunnel of glass, from the inside, it's a series of escalators going up, up, up with the same kind of triangle paned glass everywhere you look. Above your head through the glass ceiling looms large skyscrapers. I got a little lost in this mall with the maze of escalators, then stumbled across an elevator that took me back to the ground floor. Hooray!

On the way home, I got stopped for my transit ticket on the bus. In Frankfurt, you buy a Fahrkarten for bus and train. I have a monthly pass. When you get on a bus or train 99% of the time, nobody checks for tickets. But once in a while, someone comes around asking "fahrkarten, bitte". They are always dressed like bums, so my brain thinks "What does this homeless person want? Are they trying to sell me something? Fahrkarten...phone card? Are they trying to sell me a calling card? No thanks, I'm not that stupid!" So I reply "nein, danke", to which they respond "fahrkarten BITTE!" Oops, right fahrkarten, my ticket. Sorry bum, here it is.

RIP Cindy Michaels

Yesterday Dan's aunt Cindy passed away after a long battle with breast cancer. She left behind a husband, three adult children, and lots of loving extended family members. Cindy was a missionary in Russia for many years, someone I truly respected and admired. Today she is singing with the angels in heaven. Peace be with you Cindy and the whole Schmidt family.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

My little leprechaun went to school today all decked out in green. Actually I also sent her in green yesterday just in case I had my days mixed up or they were having some pre-patty day party that I didn't know about. This happened frequently at her US daycare. Maybe I will dress her in green again tomorrow just to be on the safe side ;-)

Yesterday I was emailing back and forth with the other families that traveled with us to adopt kids from Vietnam. We were talking about their health status, how they are adapting to family life, and what to do with their hair. Then we got on the topic of how this whole experience has left us with a heavy heart for Vietnam. Every day I think about Vienam and the kids that we left behind. How can I forget? I see the face of Vietnam every morning when she wakes me up, and every night when I stoke her hair as she falls asleep to Dan Bau music. These kids need a little more than the luck of the Irish to help them out. Adoptions in Asia are currently a sad state of affairs. The Vietnam program with the US closed in September 2008, with no new bilateral agreement in sight. The US adoption community was hoping adoptions of special needs children would still be permitted, but they have also been denied. In South Korea, the present administration is hoping to phase out all international adoptions by 2012, promoting domestic adoption by Korean families instead. Unfortunately, Korean culture does not embrace adoption and it is unlikely the needs of Korea's orphans will be met by domestic families. China adoptions have slowed to a virtual stand-still. Families that sent their dossiers to China in January 2006 are still waiting for their children to come home. For a point of reference, we sent our dossier to Vietnam in May 2007.


So how are the orphanages in Vietnam fairing now that US adoptions have ceased? US adoptions provided significant humanitarian support for orphanages that receive the equivalent of $12 per child per month for the Vietnamese government. Some orphanages have more connections for humanitarian support than others. Additionally, Vietnam adoptions are continuing with other countries. Gianna's orphanage had adoption connections with Sweden and received higher than average support per child since many of the children suffered from serious medical conditions. We can only hope that this funding continues. There are several organizations that have stepped up their humanitarian efforts in Vietnam in light of the revenue lost from US adoptions. Unfortunately, we have not been able to find a program that supports Gianna's orphanage directly or allows you to sponsor children from her orphanage. But there are many, too many, children in Vietnam, Southeast Asia, Africa, etc. that are in desperate need of assistance. If everyone was gracious enough to support a child or donate to a humanitarian assistance project, think of how many lives we could touch. Also, as the door closes on Vietnam, other programs are opening in countries like Nepal, Kazakhstan, Mexico, and Ukraine. Maybe you would consider opening your home to a child in search of a forever family? Here are some organizations working in Vietnam and around the world to help children in need:

PSBI Opportunity House
Brittany's Hope

Frankfurt Zoo

The weather on Saturday was overcast with no rain, so we hit the zoo for a little animal watching. Gianna has never been to a zoo before, so she was pleasantly surprised to see all the animals from her children's books come to life. The first animals we came across were the bears and lions. There was a big papa lion roaring loud in the back of his pen, which made Gianna a little scared, like "Bố, please don't throw me in there with that thing!" We stopped to eat some lunch and I was very surprised they sold somewhat reasonably priced food at the zoo. We got two Bratwursts, fries, and a drink for 9€. Not too shabby. Gianna reluctantly ate the apple and tuna sandwich I had packed for her. Overall, we spent about three hours at the zoo until we were too tired to see any more. Here are some pics from the day.

Everybody is watching the lions; I'm getting shots of the tigers!

Gianna didn't want to pet the goat herself, but enjoyed watching me do it. The monkeys were her favorite part.

Out of all the photos I took, Gianna is never looking at the camera. She was too interested in the animals and didn't have time to stop and pose.

Schpring has Schprung

After what seems like 3 straight weeks of cold, rainy, weather, today is sunny and mild! Well, it's actually mostly cloudy, but any breaks in the clouds without rain count as "sunny" as far as I'm concerned. Everyone including the ducks were out enjoying the day, Walking Gianna to school is much more enjoyable when it's not raining. Today she was babbling "mẹ, mummy, mẹ, mummy, mẹ, mummy" all the way to school. I tried to get her to say "bố, daddy" but all she would say is "bố, mummy". If the weather is nice this weekend, I really want to visit the zoo. The locals say it's nothing special, rather heavy on the monkeys, but Gianna will like it. Happy Friday!

Mummy!

My little devil/angel was sitting in the bath tonight mumbling something over and over again. I asked her what she was saying and she pronounced "Mummy!". Gianna has never called me mom, mommy or anything of the sort. It has always been Mẹ. So I asked her "Mummy, what's that?" She raised her sudsy finger and pointed at me, "Mummy! Mẹ!" This was very endearing and sent chills up my spine. She knows we like it when she speaks English. If I only had a nickel for every time I've said "say it in English; tiếng Anh, tiếng Viet không (speak English, don't speak Vietnamese)" Don't get me wrong, I will be happy if she calls me Mẹ for the rest of her life. But it was the thought that she was trying to please me by calling me by my English title that put a smile on my face.

Quarkhäschen

Today Mayer bakery had quark and kreppel häschen (bunnies). I guess they are gearing up for Easter, targeting kinder like Gianna who will beg their Mẹ for one of these adorable treats until they give in. We got one of the quarkhäschen, which was a vanilla cake biscuit dipped in chocolate and dusted with sugar. Gianna gave it two thumbs up, but proclaimed "all done" with some left over. I was happy to help her out.

The Romantic Road: Würzburg and Rothenburg odt

Yesterday we rented a car and took our first road trip outside Frankfurt, driving down the Romantic Road which runs from Würzburg all the way to Austria. The weather was cold with snow, so we just did Würzburg and Rothenburg ob der Tauber. Actually, we barley did Würzburg at all since it was raining really hard and just too miserable to justify more than 10 minutes out of the car. Rothenburg was very impressive, even in bad weather. It is a restored, walled Medieval city with lots of little shops and museums. The snow was coming down pretty hard, so we went in and out of a lot of stores and took a long lunch at a Chinese restaurant with Bruno hidden under the table. After lunch, the snow let up and we had an enjoyable family afternoon seeing the city. We lugged our muddy bodies back to the car and drove home to Frankfurt with the sun shining on splendid views of Bavaria. Back in Frankfurt the weather was so mild and sunny, some kids had on shorts. So we topped off the day with crepes and ice cream. I asked Gianna what was her favorite part of Rothenburg, the castles? seeing horses? the teddy bear stores? Her answer: the Chinese restaurant.

Gianna and Mẹ standing on the city wall with the snow blowing all around us. It's c-cold!

Dan looks for the place where hot tar rained down on the enemy.

For all my Christian conservative friends and relatives out there, if you have 187€ to spend on a nice gift for a special young lady in your life, then look no further. The same shop sold a variety of swords for the men. We also saw Martin Luther teddy bears for 189€, if that's more to your liking.

On the hour in the market square, the clock doors open up and these figurines come out and do a little drinking.

This bakery sold local pastries called schneeballen, made out of pie dough and sugar. I heard they were disgusting, so we brought home three other pastries instead. I wasn't impressed; we get tastier pastries in Frankfurt. Sorry Rothenburg, but it's true.

Walking along the wall, you can see (top left) a covered area where the archers would stand to defend the city.

Dan is ending the day with nutella banana crepes back in Frankfurt. For more pictures from the trip look at my kodak photo gallery.

Cheap trips to the US

Every day we visit US soil when we take Gianna to school. It's much cheaper than a plane ticket home ;-) Without giving away too many American secrets (and getting my blog shut down), the consular grounds look like a spartan military base. You can walk around freely, but there are security cameras watching you all along the way. In between the barrack style housing is a large lawn littered with charcoal grills and picnic tables. We Americans sure like our grilled meats and summer picnics. There is a rec center, play ground, salon, and I'm sure much more. But to avoid any run-ins with security, I stick to my own walking path that leads to the daycare. Gianna really enjoyed her first day, but today she cried when I dropped her off. That's a good sign that she loves her mẹ. I finally found some lunch containers for her at the Galleria. Today her teacher told me she needs "soft shoes" to play in the gym, so another scavenger hunt around Frankfurt lead me to Baby Waltz. Baby Walz also had some nice Easter dresses, reminding me the only warm weather clothing we have for Gianna are the few outfits she wore in Vietnam. OK, time to get off the computer and cook some bratwurst for dinner before Dan and Gianna walk through the door.

Gianna's first day of school

Two hours ago, I dropped Gianna off for her first day of school at Carl Schurtz. Now I am sitting at home worrying about her instead of worrying about my job interview at 4pm. I assumed reusable lunch containers would be available at any grocery or corner drug store and I could just pick some up this morning before school. Wrong! We have no kids size containers at home that would fit in her lunch bag, so I ended up buying potato and tuna salad, removing the salad, and using those containers. Hopefully the other kids don't notice. She has been dry (in the potty sense) for the past 2-3 weeks, so I sent her in underwear instead of pull-ups. But now I am wondering if that was the right decision...we shall see if she comes home in the same pants she was wearing when I dropped her off. And finally, they put her in the older class (3-4 year olds) instead of the 2-3 year olds. Oops on their part. She will join the younger kids tomorrow, but she looked like such a small fry next to those older kids. Poor Gianna, I just want her to be happy! I know she would much rather be socializing with other kids than kicking around Frankfurt with me, so I'm sure she will grow to love this school as much as she loved the school in New Jersey.

PM update: Gianna had a great first day of school. She came home in the same pants and the teachers said she made a new friend named Elizabeth. When Dan came to pick her up, she was playing in the gym. My job interview also went well. They may offer me a temp job writing technical documents for their botanical raw materials. So I will wait and see what they decide.